Sometimes I think it would be awesome if i had my own reality show. Not so much on the narcissistic tip...but because some funny shit happens to me. Below is a tale..

Last thursday, as I do seemingly every month I went to the LAced Party @ Cue Bar. I did not go to Dilla Day and I did not go to the 18th street Lounge. I really got comfy at Cue Bar. My homeboy had mentioned previously, letting me facilitate the nintendo wii for him since he had to mingle amongst the folks. I agreeded, because that gave me an excuse to beat down innocents in bowling.. Often when I come to DC, I never have a set game plan. I know usually someone will let me crash or my homeboy would give me a ride back home if he wasn't tied up. Now previously I had discussed with said homeboy my intentions of staying over night in dc to catch the portraiture exhibit..but after talking to the champ..i decided against. Still not sweating the small stuff..i drank and drank..people bought me dranks...my homeboy who was throwing the party supplied me with drank. I'd made plans with a dude to see him later that night, but the catch was he didn't know what time he'd be finished with his families function. Me thinking I had time..settled in and had a ball..I got a text at 10:00, that he was home..I texted back..I'm kinda doing my homeboy a solid is 11pm too late? To which he said yes...I'm not gonna go on and say ...this is how i felt-->nigga for u to tell me at the last minute you was home and i'm supposed to drop everything and ball out..it wasn't happening..i had to say goodnight and make sure my homeboy had his wii situation was under control...at any rate when he said 11 was too late..it didn't dawn on me to hit my other folks up for a place to crash...i still had another option...my other homeboy was out that night..and i asked if he was going back to bmore..to which he gave me this weird as,"oh I'm riding you home tonight," phrase. I just kinda look at him and was like alright...kept drinking...I was fully prepared not to let some sticks in the mud ruin my otherwise good evening..The night winds down and I say my goodbyes...I catch a cab to union station..i knew it was gonna be a funny rest of the evening when the cabby almost broad sided someones car. I get to Union Station, drunk and sleepy..buy my train ticket..next train leaves at 315..bet it's 145am..i can do this..i vow not to sleep or I'd miss my train..so I'm in this surreal state..and what i experienced next I'm not really sure if it happened or didn't..

So, I'm kinda resting on a seat in front of the gate i need to leave from and this dude sits down. Average looking cat with a pea coat on. There's a Vanity Fair sitting beside me, someone had left it. He just picked it up...which was surprising but it coulda been mine..anywho..dude furiously thumbs thru it starts breathing hard and next thing i know his hand is in his pants...I'd be lying if i said i didn't look but i kinda shot him this knowing look like yo..the men's bathroom is a few steps away u may wanna go do that there...but he just looked me in the eyes and keep rubbin his junk..It was then that i knew this cat was on some deviant, watch me as i masturbate shit. As much as people are repulsed by said public displays u cant help but look..or maybe that's just me. I was determined not to give dude what he wanted, so i got up and went to the ladies bathroom..wtf i did that i dont know...what waited for me there was a bigger mess.

I'm in the ladies bathroom and it smells to the high heavens. I search for a stall to pee in..and lo and behold just about every stand was occupied...I waited for a second then it dawned on me that the homeless chicks were using the stalls to sleep. I think i almost earled in my mouth a bit..Just the mere fact that u're sleepin in a smelly bathroom..ugh...i mean shoes off and everything...i also heard moaning..:(

I had no choice but to go back out by the gate and take a seat(no dude to be found..magazine was still there tho). Before I knew it..it was 315. I boarded my train..determined not to sleep again..Amtrak does not wake u..and well if u sleep and miss ya train u could end up in Boston. I finally got home and in my bed at 430am....I was so tired...I knew i wasn't going to work..after the night i had, i wanted to chill...and as if God heard me..on cue @ 6am, I got the notice that my job was closed..score!