I dont know how far i'll get into this blog before i lose my train of thought....But it's amazing the things you think of when you're alone...that's just one of things i'll be writing about today...and i have to make sure i get it all out or there will be repeat entries... Now..... Although I know there are about 10 of your who have signed up to read this blog..by the end of the day....there will only be about 2..hahaha...as much as folks said they wanted me to continue to write..i think it was moreso to read about my pain and ups and downs with dating....so yeah...i think imma take it back public as well

I had a pretty decent weekend... I went to DC friday to hang out with a friend..just to chill..nothing too hectic..but it turned out to be a group excursion and i really wasnt looking forward to that because of previous bouts i've had with this friends friends...but it all turned out swell..everyone had a good time...but in the midst of us seeking another lounge..and ending up in some other lounge i lost my makeup pouch..which i didnt realize was gone till saturday am...i panicked at first because i looked for my wallet..then my psp..then i saw no makeup bag and i thought someone had hit me in my stomach..it had all my favorites in there..things i had accumulated and worked well for me...hence my favorites...i found the lounges number and left a message...i considered it a long shot but tried..no one called me.. :( I haven't worn any makeup in the last 48 hours...i just wasnt feeling it...This morning you should have seen my scramblin trying to find things that were comparable to what i lost...and then i realized..most of my more costly brushes were in that bag..and i let out a sigh...i'm a creature of habit and comfort..and i didnt like not having what i was use to one bit... :( Having said that i can say that after getting all that done..i felt cute in my clothing until the following happened.. 1. while putting on loose powder it got all on my sleeve...i was using a substitute brush...i just dusted what i could off and kept it moving.. 2. I was on the bus maxin out listening to my new must hear song "postcards from the edge", when i focused and noticed it was raining..after the news guys said the rain had passed...i instantly frowned and any semblance of cuteness was washed away...my hair looked like a wet slick back..my clothing misted with rain..my feet sliding.. and 3. the light was out at a major thoroughfare..all i could think about was frogger and how i might possible get hit by a car... :( I didn't but still... I'd just freshly did my hair yesterday and i have an event to attend after work today....It's only 749 and blah this day is already shitty... anyway... I said this blog would be a doozy..so here's the rest...

I spent a lil time with someone i use to talk to..the time we spent was brief but it made me realize how much i missed him and how fleeting our moment was...but things happened...while we were chillin he kept asking what i was thinking about..sometimes i wasnt thinking of anything other times i was thinking of what it would be like to be with him once more...but i didnt have the nerve to say wont we try...again...He'll always have a lil spot in my heart but i just don't know what to do..someone might call me a punk but so be it..he's got alot on his plate and i feel it's a bit selfish of me to add me to it...so i stored what i was thinking and kept it moving.

Yesterday and saturday once my friend left i pretty much stayed in the house..restless...having trouble sleeping..i dont know if it was what i mentioned aboved..but i felt lonely/lethargic...i alternated tv stations..alternated playing games on my psp/my ds/and my treo..i'd lay down..close my eyes but then there goes those thoughts again(not related to anything..just totally random)...i didnt drink anything...i just kinda like laid in the feeling..i didnt call anyone to complain..i did nothing but lay in my apt all day...thinking...i came to no conclusion.. eh