Yipes I saw a dude i use to hang out with on the bus again this morning..this time he actually got on the bus while i was on it...I tried to act like i was into my ipod..but then i was like he can still see my face..shitttttttttttttttttt...i closed my eyes and feigned sleep..when i opened my eyes he was seated..but was acting a crackhead mess...he was scrabblin at the window trying to open it..he was trying to open the window in the front and back of him that was allotted for the people seated in those respective seats..he just looked a crazy mess...Locs all ratty..3xl hoopin shorts..ratty tank top, arm pit hair looks like taco meat w/ sour cream trapped in it... I had heard rumors that after his "rap career" didn't take off he just went crazy trying to hold down a string of odd jobs..so now i guess he gets disability? His ass looked disabled..dishelved and disdainful...ewwwwwwwwwwwww I know you're wonder how can i talk about someone i use to be cool with like that..because i can...there was no sex involved...we just hung out..did movies..his moms would cook for the whole clan who was hanging out..it was in my backpacker days..when i was straight hip hop all day every day..and this was my sophmore year 95-96... He was one of those rare male friends that just chilled..but damn homie fell hard... The last i spoke to him he wanted to borrow some money..and i didn't wanna have that talk today on the bus..

The weekend was semi chill...i blew off restaurant club to chill @ a cookout on Saturday with my god babies...Twas fun..and i think i even got coaxed into hosting a party in aug. The perfect opportunity to flex my bday dress that i never wore...ya know the one i was gonna wear to 40/40 but i deemed it too dressy for that... I caught up with a oldddddddddddddddddddddddddd friend from college...we hung out Saturday morning..it's amazing how people never change in a good way..it was all smiles and reminiscing, cant complain about that. The funny thing about it was dude had feelings for me in college but was trying to get into the same fraternity my ex was in...or had just crossed over into..and of all the dudes who treated my friend decent it was my ex..ahahaha the world is crazy...

In other news i had to let someone down...I went out on a date with a guy..and the sparks weren't there...and it just got to a point in the date where i was like i can do this..then the next second it was..i cant do this... this cat..i mean he was a southern gentleman but there was something about him...that i just couldn't get with..maybe it was the part where he said when i came down the steps he heard music. *shrugs* I'm all for some compliments but as the night wore on...it seemed more worship that compliment..and i ain't down for that...so i called dude and told him that the spark wasn't there i was looking for..he sounded disappointed but eh..what can u do? I felt down for a second..because i was like i must be going crazy...but at this point I'm not willing to settle. The upswing..i met someone who leaves 4 blocks away from me... so yeah..one door closes another opens!