It's not often i talk about my life growing up...but i felt the need to share a bit..

Growing up my mother..who had me when she was 14..bless her heart..really didn't know what to do with me and my brother whom she had 2 years later...she'd dump us off at various family and friends houses...and it may be a few hours or days until i saw my mother again..this would happen mostly when we were on vacation or something but it was rare she'd make us miss school intentionally..this one time my mom dropped me off at my aunts house..1 day turned into a complete 2 years..she was off with a friend in ft. lauderdale..and i thought even in my young age she was frivolous as shit..she'd write but I'd have nothing but ether to write back..i was very articulate and grown for my age..being around so many adults forced me to open my eyes a decade before my peers..at any rate mama came back to bmore..and tried her damnedest to woo me and my baby bro...you know boys will be boys..so he sided with her and together they worked on me to give my mother another chance..when i decided yes...she moved us into some projects..I'm sure it was the best she could do..but ultimately it led to the demise of my small family...at first it was fun living right by a McDonald's, 7-11 and corned beef row..and eventually they'd build the Harbor and the Gallery...my mom was on welfare and back then they got paid on the good assistance..we had allowances..we did family things but slowly i noticed mom stopped taking us places..we had new uncles..clothes wasn't being washed..the house was a mess..and then i caught her shooting up..it was the worse day of my life and all i could say to her was I'm telling grandma..from that point on she used our apt..as a small hotel for her druggy friends...she'd make me and my bro share a room while she rented the other out..she'd have drugdealer boyfriends...my life was a mess..i started wearing clothing out of the hamper going to school smelly..i hated my mother...one day i came home from school..i saw a swarm of cops..and i knew instantly it was our apt before they even got there...i ran up the 7 flights of steps..and as soon as i got inside..i heard the kaboom of the ram on our door...our house was officially a stash house and we were raided..clothing every where..the walls were wet..my clothing destroyed..my life a hot ass mess..as they dragged my mother away..i had tears in my eyes..how could she do this to us? Thereafter me and my brother proceeded to live in our apt. without adult supervision for 2 weeks..i had already taken to cashing my mother's stamps and checks and was taking care of home well before we were raided...It wasn't until a cousin saw me out shopping one day he asked me how i was..i said I'm fine..he asked where i was living..and me like a fool said in the same apt. next day we were removed from our home .. me and my brother were split up...... who knew that this would be the beginning of a whole new life...but i could care less because i felt my shit was already fucked up...i didn't care so why should anyone else..i felt expendable and looked over..and i thought to myself..this is my life.

As the weather gets warm...i realize some sisters wanna show off what they mama's gave them..but gosh! Do you have to pull out the big guns immediately??? Like u can wear a capri or a bermuda trouser but, u wearing short shorts already? I know the men are not complaining but damn...I work on a college campus and it's like the slight inclination of warm weather and these chicks treat it like a run way. I was walking into work today..and I'll admit sis did look cute but i wondered what was the purpose of the long sleeve shirt if she had on with damn near booty shorts and peep toe heels..fashion forward or just plan dilly...it's always a good time to shine up those gams and push..but then that leads me to the point of this here entry..If a sister dresses provocatively is she looking for or warranting a certain response and or action? I know of no chick that dress provocatively just because...i always think it's for some purpose. But i find it funny that they get upset when they either..dont get the attention they want or the attention of the one they want..rather they get mad and bitchy at say a bum dude trying to holla or hit..

I guess this is chick centric today...

I had a conversation with a friend about makeup and it's uses..she said she didnt need make up because she embraced her flaws and found folks who use makeup are trying to hide their true selves...i just laughed and said i liked makeup because it added to my versatility... why do chicks judge when they have no idea? why do people judge when they have no idea themselves... Opinions are like assholes..errybody got one

Hey y'all...

I haven't written in a moment..mostly due to not having anything to write about..my life is boring..and ever since i let go of some drama and detached myself from others the source of my angst and anxiety is no more...but...shit still happens. So let's start this on a happy note...

I've had a crush on a close friends brother for decades...and i never had the nerve nor desire to say anything..other than to get those giddy lil butterflies and smiles when he was around..Well me and this close friend lost contact...and fast forward to maybe a few months ago..a mutual friend finds me on myspace and our worlds are now reconnected again...and with our reconnection...is the reconnection to her brother which i so totally wasn't thinking about till i saw him...*drools* anyway me and dude chat via email/text...guess what? Come to find out he's been crushing on me all these years as well...and admired me for the things i went thru and how i took control of my life...I say goddammit people..u never know who feels what for u...Needless to say this put a whole new spin on things..and it was like we were no longer in our respective boxes..me(his sisters best friend from high school)..him(my best friend from high school's brother) The strange thing about the whole ordeal is that about the time i had met her he had just graduated high school and went into the Marines...so i had always seen pics of him and always thought he was super fine and chocolatey...anyhow...i finally got to chill and hang out..i really ain't have shit to say...and i think i was stuck half the time we were chillin :( L for me right ...a big L... *shrugs* furthermore he's a man of few words anyway so i felt the need to converse which was wack..lil jokes here..innuendo there...eh..i wouldn't be surprised if we didn't hang out again..hahaha This has taught something..sometimes crushes are crushes for a reason.. THIS WAS A PSA FOLKS!

Ole 42 decided to contact me last night..he wasn't talking about shit...mostly sex shit from the past..talking bout what he wants to do and what he's gonna do when he gets the time...I just yawned the whole time on the phone because it was all recycled and rehashed ... so i say yeah i gotta call D back..this nigga gets an attitude and goes off on this tirade about how he's never calling me no more...my answer..simply...ok. I mean shit ain't that serious..You stop talking to me because I'm getting too close then u try to keep me at an arms length "just in case" fuck outta here..ladies don't be stoopid..dudes don't be stoopid either...at any rate needless to say he ended up calling me back and even instant messaged me..eh... I think it's a thing of people believing their own hype..like i cant live without your contact..I mean we all would like to feel special but come on ...

Yesterday I went to happy hour with D and CP...I had a ball they are my 2 fave people in this world right now..I hope they know how much they add to my life and keep me grounded.. along with a few other I'd say i have pretty decent team of cool down to earth people behind me and beside me..

Hope your weekends will be great..

Love u all..

Boogie from the city....

Happy Tewsday Day.....

I had a blast of weekend that included getting my shuttle on to
Philly for a potluck...It looked dim for a moment..with errything happening from the bus leaving a whole 45 mins late to a fucking sleet storm in Philly that last from maybe 7am ish till about 3amish the following saturday morning..esh! But i'm so glad the potluck was on and poppin..and as u can see from the pic on the right...ya girl Boogie got it poppin for all the black irishwomen(i'm stoopid right?) The very perplexing thing about this one of a kind potluck was that at a certain point in the night i put these glasses and this hat on and i think my alterego took over because i saw pics and video and was like when was this? *shrugs* I mean i knew i was in good hands so i didn't sweat it....It coulda been those green 40's of Olde E that got me..but then again it coulda been those green shots of Ketel One or maybe that Grey Goose..whatsinever..I had a blast of a weekend..that extended till yesterday..i just need another day to sleep in and i still feel hella tired and lapsed over..not hungover tho...i dont think i've had one of those in a moment..i'll be back with hightlights from the eric roberson concert...

I'M GOING TO SEE ERIC ROBERSON THIS EVENING!!!! YAY ME
for more info hit up
http://www.ericrobersonmusic.com

This cat is just a overall dope person...talented musician..writer..composer...
any chance i get..i give him kudos for being him


As of late I've been having some pretty random thoughts...Ok so here they are..i'm type them as they re pop into my mind

-So if you are interested in someone and u make it known in a semi way...well basically u flirt with them and pay them compliments..why don't they catch on? I mean i basically told dude I wanna hang out and this that and the third...but i think i answered my own question on this..and i'mma Keep it movin!!

-A dude i use to be into email me this week on some bs..asking me about a concert here in baltimore...I was finna be rude but that was more energy than i could give...so i just answered his questions that drew out to 5 emails..and in each one of them he kept saying thank you...i guess he does realize he did be absolutely dirty...either that or he dont want me to fuck with him @ the concert? Me thinks it's that he doesnt want it to be weird..i guess he's bringin his new boo as well...ah well tis life.

-Operation Kinky Twist have come to a halt..I couldn't rightfully let that shag grow down my back one more day..It inhibited my flyness..so now i have a versatile do where i can either lay it flat or spiky it...i can still weave it..but i sure did get that good taper on the neck tho...hell yeah...It's spring and a bidge gotta be fly...I did my toes last night too..i have way to many peep toe shoes for some hammertime madness..In addition for some odd reason when people..not just men..see i have small feet they have a habit of lifting my foot in the air and taking my shoe off to look at my amazingly small size 6 feet...*shrugs* to me my toes look like vienna sausage...But God I'm not complain..i love what u gave me...shoutout JC(jesuschrist)..anywhooo...

-I like how folks tell you what u need to do with your life...like their life is like 100% times better..like they 100% on top of their game and shit..I tend to take advise from my close friends but u cant give me advise if your student loans are in default and u live at home...u can't do it...not one bit..I'm not judging but who are u to tell me i need to get married when u dating married men? or women...

-The need to rename pay day, exchange day..because i do feel i'm just exchange things in my account for my other accounts...

umm that's bout it for now...I'll have more

ps.

I'M GOING TO SEE ERIC ROBERSON THIS EVENING!!!! YAY ME
for more info hit up
http://www.ericrobersonmusic.com

Last night I went home with the intentions of spending a quiet evening at home..that was not so...I knew it was gonna go odd when i heard from a former suitor who did me dirty...but nonetheless..i got home..popped a beer and proceeded to clean my spot up..then i get a call from a dude i hung out with..the hang out session ended in sex...i hadn't heard from him in a moment and i wasn't sweating it (read: the sex was a bit off) but yeah..anyway..He's cool nonetheless but i don't see any romance in him...anyway he calls and we hang out and go to the movies to see 300..dope ass movie by the way...anyway i'm going off on tangent and right cause yeah u guys need the back story anyway...So we sitting there in the movies and i smelled this familiar aroma...now i'm surrounded by guys..and i sniff..sniff..sniff..sniff...my smelling sense is that of a bloodhound..so i'm like damn someone ate some pussy and ain't bother to wipe their face...i was horrified..because the smell is that of a lover waking up in the morning after a romp the night before..but whoever it was decided to throw some double mint over top of it...so as i was breathing some other chicks pussy fumes in i was taking in the movie as i laughed..ahahahaha this is my life guys!

Anyway I'm excited about my weekend..I'm going to Philly...yay me
Yeah Yeah Yeah....

Sorry my shit is somewhat boring but hey guys this is my life...ahaha

Over the weekend i went to Annapolis again to hang out with the fam once more...and i noticed a few things...some dudes will holla at errything..i think it's a odds game their playing..like if i holla at 6 chicks..pass my number out 5 times...3 bound to call or catch onto me...Having said that when dudes roll in packs 1 or 2 of those niggas is shady...why u may ask? well this dude was trying to holla at me..then his boy came to holla at me 20 mins later...needless to say they both got my number...or did they? all the numbers were right cept for the last one...and i didn't feel one bit of bad...I went to this place called Sharky's in Annapolis...It's a spot for all races to mix but this night the music just sucked..like at about 12 the dj's inner young white boy sprung forth and blessed the crowd with such jewels as Baby got back, come on ride that train, daisy dukes and a techno version of run it by chris brown...I texted my friend like it's time to go they playing daisy dukes...i mean i hated to be a kill joy..but yeah the party is officially done when someone throws daisy dukes on..

In other news i was supposed to ride with my crush to take his mother to the airport in Newark...i thought sweet a good way to chat civilized and then on the ride back we can have another type chat...but that didnt pan out and i think he got pissy with me... i'm glad i didnt go because she ended up missing her flight..so he had to drove all the way back to severna.. *shakes head*

I'm excited this week i get to see Eric Roberson and i get to go to philly..yay me

This next blog entry is in that: things that only happen to Sha file!!!

So my coworker drops me off from work yesterday..and i whole heartily think it started there...this bidge..instead of letting me out on the right side of the street she let's me off on the left..so i have to traverse thru traffic to get to my apt....After almost getting hit between her screaming get out get out the traffics coming...i was frazzled..so i get to my front door in one piece, i put the key in the top lock..it unlocks..then i put it in the bottom lock...*thinks* my key isn't working...OK i paid my rent...the lock must be frozen...*calls the landlord...no answer*** *pissed** **retries key*****gets more pissed** walks to home boys house** So my landlord finally calls about a hour and a half later...i tell him about the situation..he said i wasn't the only person who'd called...the lock smith cant come out today..but tomorrow..but he needs me to leave my key in the basement..this is off for a few reasons...1. the muthafuckers in my building don't like answering the door... 2. it's an inconvenience... so needless to say i wont get in my damn apt. till bout 6 tonight again :(

So married/girlfriend dude texted me last night...this bamma texted me..i just wanna know u alright..just text back yes...me being a smart ass texted back un hunh... He texts back what's that supposed to mean..i said yes I'm great..Now i wouldn't be over here dying laughing if this bamma wasn't such a obvious neurotic...He's on AIM all day.. and doesn't say a word to me...He has email..but he waits till 8 something at night...so immediately i think this is a precursor to something..and what do u know 835..my phone rings it's him...u busy..yup..top model is on...call me back when it's over...calls back 9...he's like I'm watching my show...peace! He calls at 10 something a few times (read 3 times)..then i get a text at 11...saying i guess this means i cant come over... i just rolled over and went to sleep...Our relation never got that far in to constitute for a booty call so i don't know what the hell he was thinking.. *shrugs*

Open Your Eyes lyrics

Artist - Caldwell Bobby
Album- Cat in the Hat

I see you, in a lonely place
how can you be so lost
you're still regretting the love you left, left behind
oh darling, I've seen you go through a change
sitting alone each night
are you expecting to find a love, love that's right

darling open your eyes
let me show you the light
girl you'll never find a love that's right
darling open your eyes
let me show you the light
girl you think you're so wise

there are times, when you'll need someone
I will be by your side
I'll take my chances before they pass, pass me by
oh darlin, there is a light that shines, special for you and me
you need to look at the other side
you'll agree

darling open your eyes
let me show you the light
you may never find a love that's right
darling open your eyes
let me show you the light
you may never find a love that's right
darling open your eyes
let me show you the light
you may never find a love that's right
darling open your eyes
let me show you the light
girl you think you're so wise
you may never find a love that's right
____________________________________________________

So I've become obsessed with obtaining this dudes music http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bobby_Caldwell...after finding out he wrote one of my fave songs, "what you won't do for love," My eyes have been opened...It's like learning something, then wanting to find out the origin...and it didn't help that he was sampled for Common's "The Light."
So today my dearies who don't know that much about music or just didn't know get your weight up..and read up on this cat.

Me and Mary Kay..Yes this again
For those that know me, would never guess I've sold Mary Kay maybe the past 3 years..I'm mostly a personal use consultant who uses her membership as a means to get half price cosmetics...and who doesn't want that...But lately I've been getting this itch to really try..I mean shit if i get about 5 recruits and 3 become Active I can qualify for a new car! I'm hoping this up coming career conference will boost my spirits. I do need extra monies..

*hugz

This weekend was just a great weekend...it was a weekend of fun and reconnection..

Friday I hung out with CP and Big Don..we went to see Black Snake Moan...and the best thing about the movie was the opportunity to drink before and after the movie..i also went into the movies feeling quite lifted! I mean it didnt make the movie any better but yeah.. It was just random things I didn't like about the movie that was just shotty at best...they really didn't explore any of the other characters but u got to see the shallow plot of sam jackson's character...eh.. is the word that best describes this movies...Sorry CP...but u and D don't pick the next movie!

Nextttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt I caught the light rail to Glen Burnie to hook up with a old friend from like high school..she now has 3 kids...I spent time with her and the kids then we hung out with the adults at night..We went bowling..i hadnt been bowling in some time and it helped that there was a on sight bar in the alley...Score!!! Needless to say we had a blast... and ended up at this lil VFW/Club...it was like a miscasted Hype Williams Video for a down south rapper but the drink was cheap..(read: 1 belvie vodka tonic and a hennessey and coke for 8) Afterwards it was driving back to Annapolis...

Totally i had a good weekend and i cant complain...

Here's to reconnections!!

What is it about maintaining and sustaining interpersonal relations that scare people? One would argue he's just not that into you..and that may be true but then it's like don't get mad because I'm no longer sweating your scrotum's.. It baffles and befuddles me when someone loses interest in me and they just fall off..then they like to come back with a vengeance when a.) they are no longer messing with fiftyelemn people.. or b.) they need an esteem booster... In my younger day I was guilty of both..but now I'm well aware of the repercussions that goes along with using folks for fucks sake...when simply i can be single and happy... Of course a sister gets lonely but i do keep a running tally of the pros and cons of being single in my head..and that's enough for me... Another thing that gets my goat is when someone writes u off and u wander off and do other people and things, they call u and now the convos have hidden daggers or barbs about "your new man" being around..and it's like what? why do u even care?... or your this and that...like your some Spudz McKenzie dating machine..what does that say for them?...that they are so insecure and preoccupied with what u're doing post them it's eating at them that they didn't give u a chance? or that they were merely wrong with the summation of what they thought was your relation to them?...either way they loss..and i think it kills them that u are thriving..when u use to glow or what have u with them... It all is a bit much..and i think as single folks we get caught up when we do get involved with someone new..it's like i don't wanna give too much, i don't wanna give to little and then it becomes too much to try to regulate the ebb and flow of just being..just enjoying someone..because we all know..gone are the days of the free flowing convo without hidden agendas??? *ah well* I guess this was my commentary of sorts......

Let's hear it for Wii...Man I was over my homepeoples house last night working up a black sweat playing a few sports games on the system...I only played Bowling and Tennis but I was glistening a few moments into Tennis...It's so addictive..I want a wii but sadly i don't have a huge flat screen like they do.. :( So in the interim I guess i should just continue to go over their house drink beer and play Wii... :)

Last night was the first time i talked to my friend in a long time...in high school she was my best friend my ace...and we remained close up until i was a sophomore/junior in college..then life got in the way and we fell off...3 lovely little girls for her later..we 've reconnected..It's funny how u grow up and grow apart from the things u love so dearly...I mean I use to catch the bus down to Annapolis to hang out and stay the weekend..and catch the bus back...Now I don't know bout catching the bus down that piece now but yeah... Being on the fun with her reminded me of all our hi jinks when we were younger...from stealing her mom's car to go see boys to hanging out with our other friends... *sigh* Bring back the late 90's man...

Having said that I think the late 90's was my golden period...Like the period when i was thee most free...If i have the self assurance and knowledge i know now..and i could take it back with me and relive the 90's they would be more smoking...

So i ask u when was your golden age???